5 Ways To Create A Deeper Connection In Your Relationship
You roll out of bed on a Thursday morning running behind. You don’t have time for your normal morning routine and you are just feeling all out of sorts. It’s 10:00 AM and you realize you are already on your third cuppa coffee that morning just hoping to make it through the day with some kind of productivity and a whole lot of grace. And before you know it, you realize that your boyfriend/fiancé/husband hasn’t even text or called you all morning. Now, it’s 1:00 PM and you got a short text from him. Deep down you start getting annoyed and frustrated that he isn’t trying or showing that he cares so you start to shut down. You wait a little longer than normal before you text him back and then when you do finally text him back it’s a short agitated response. This goes on the rest of the day and it builds. By the time he comes home that night you don’t even want to see him because you are mad, but really you are actually hurt. On the other hand, your man has been thinking the exact same thing about you all day and he’s annoyed and frustrated too.
At the end of that Thursday there is a whole lot of hurt built up inside both of you and on top of that there is no connection which affects your entire relationship for days!
Here’s the thing, we can’t keep living in this cycle of hurt, frustration, and holding love back from our partner. That absolutely kills your relationship over time.
I’ve got five quick an easy ways to create regular connection with your partner on a consistent basis so that you or your guy don’t get to that point of ignoring the other or taking your pain and frustration out on the other person by assuming they don’t care about you or love you. You matter to them, but honestly it can be pretty easy for us to feel like we don’t matter to our guy when we don’t take the time to connect with them.
Connection creates a greater level of love in your relationship and when you feel the love you give more of that love and that is a cycle that works over and over again to strengthen your relationship.
Here are five ways that you can create more connection with your partner today.
- HAVE MORNING COFFEE OR BREAKFAST TOGETHER.
It’s important to start your day together and spend time getting on the same page. This gives you the opportunity to talk about your day and set expectations for your day. Sharing your expectations for the day helps to eliminate frustration with your partner by thinking they should be able to read your mind about what you need or want to happen during the day. None of us are mind readers so we all need to do a better job of actually communicating our expectations for the day.
Morning coffee or breakfast also helps you connect before you head is filled with all the stress or anxieties of the day that can take up so much head space for us.
It doesn’t need to be a gourmet breakfast or even an hour long breakfast. Simply taking 15 minutes to talk about your priorities for the day and what you are looking forward to that day will not only make you feel good, but it will make you and your partner feel more connected as your start your day.
PRO TIP: If you have children, aim to do this before your children get up to eliminate distractions from each other. Also, make sure you do not have a TV or other distracting device in the room while you do this.
- GO ON WALKS TOGETHER WITHOUT YOUR PHONE.
Going on walks is a great way to get your body moving while also
connecting with nature and getting some fresh air which can all help lower your stress level. The lower your stress level is while communicating with your partner, the greater and more meaningful connection you will have.
Take time to create a routine around going on a walk with your man. It can be 15 minutes or even an hour around the neighborhood. Leave your phone behind so that you don’t get distracted. The quality time with your guy will make you both feel more connected.
PRO TIP: If it’s been awhile since you’ve done this and don’t know what to talk about anymore on the walk start with a simple structure like your high and low from the day. You can each share what your highlight from the day was and also what your lowlight of day was. By sharing both of these it helps open us up for honest and vulnerable communication with our partner which creates a deeper connection.
- HAVE REGULAR DATE NIGHTS OR AT LEAST 1 DAY OF THE WEEK THAT IS SET ASIDE FOR YOU & YOUR PARTNER TO SPEND IT TOGETHER.
Spending time WITH each other to laugh, learn, or enjoy everyday life together is important. When you take time to set aside one day a week as your relationship day or your date night then it helps you both stay consistent with that. This way you know for instance to never schedule something in your calendar for Wednesday evenings because that’s date night or time for you and your guy to connect. When we laugh with each other, learn more about our partner or simply share a meal together that we cooked; it helps us enjoy this life more by sharing those experiences with the person we love.
- FIGURE OUT THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE AND LOVE THEM IN THE WAY THEY WANT TO BE LOVED
It’s so easy for us to feel like we are showing our man the love he wants, but are we? Gary Chapman talks about the 5 love languages and how we might think we are doing everything to make our partner feel loved by making dinner, doing the dishes, shuttling the kids around etc. But if his love language is words of affirmation, then he probably appreciates all the acts of service, but he also doesn’t feel loved because you aren’t loving him in the way that he feels love.
Take time to figure out what your love language is and ask your man what his is. This is a great conversation to have on date night or on one of your walks together.
PRO TIP: Gary Chapman has a quiz that you can use to help you figure out which of the 5 love languages is yours over HERE
- GROW TOGETHER IN PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Taking time to grow together makes a massive difference in your relationship. If you aren’t growing, you are dying. We all want our relationship to grow and develop don’t we? When we grow we feel a greater level of happiness. And when we grow together we feel a greater level of connection. The best part is that you are both growing and learning about each other while also growing in your relationship and growing individually. This one is a win win situation.
You can grow together by reading a personal development book together, doing devotions together, taking a personality assessment, doing StrengthsFinder, or enrolling in an online course together.
The ways to grow together are endless so you can continue to do this throughout your entire relationship and it will make you feel happier, more connected, and you will feel a greater sense of love.
One of the human needs that we all share is the need for love and connection. This comes in many different forms, but at the end of the day we all have a strong desire to feel that great sense of love and connection in our life.
Take time to share these strategies with your guy or simply pick one and start doing it with him today. Take time to notice how incredible it feels when you are connected on a regular basis by doing one or all of these 5 easy practices consistently.
I do them all and these are all different strategies that I also challenge my own private coaching clients to implement into their life when they come to me feeling hurt or not loved by their partner. It’s important to remember that you can create that love and connection with your partner at any moment by implementing a few simple strategies on a consistent basis.
Cheers to creating your own love story that makes you feel oh so good!
*If you want to have better communication with your partner then check out the communication strategies in this free PDF guide or create goals to support getting the love that you want. I’m always here to support you with tools and strategies on your love journey.
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